What Defines You?

If you are at any kind of social event where you will meet new people, one of the first things to be asked always seems to be, “So, what do you do?” I understand it is a conversation starter and usually I spend a few minutes trying to explain what it is I actually do for the company I work for, which usually leads into the person moving on to someone else, or I get the glazed stare of indifference. There is a scene in a little known movie called Undercover Blues which always makes me laugh. In it Dennis Quaid plays a retired spy and new dad. Every time he meets someone and they ask what he does, he makes up some new line of work; anything from a brain surgeon to an Electrolux vacuum salesman. I may start doing this myself.

It seems whenever the question of what a person does for a living comes up, really what is being asked is what defines you as a person? I mean think about it, we love to hear about how exciting a person’s job is, or how much money they acquire through doing it, don’t we? If a person tells us they work at the local Walmart or sewage plant, we won’t hang around nearly as long as if they tell us about how their job sends them all over the world to work with the rich and powerful now will we?

Being defined by what you do has been one of the most soul crushing experiences of my life. I owned and operated a retail shoe store for over twenty years; even calling myself Dave the Shoe-Guy for a long time. I let my shoe store define who I was in more ways than one. I couldn’t get away from it either. When I was introduced to people in a social setting, it was always, this is Dave, he owns a shoe store. Never, this is Dave, he loves Jesus and Star Wars.

What defines who you are? Are you a hunter or fisherman? Do you play golf or basketball on the weekends? Are you letting these things define who you are? Perhaps you’re a husband and father; both noble things but are these the definition of who you are? I think there is more than what you do to define you. The problem is society has a way of trying to label us. It’s like you do this, so you go over here in this group. Being defined by what you do is almost the same as being segregated, and we all know how much people love to be segregated.

I realized one day there was more to who I am than just what I did. You see, I am a man who loves his family, I’m a follower of Jesus Christ, an old school Star Wars fan, a writer and someone who loves to spend time drinking coffee with his friends. The job I go to every day is what pays the bills, but it is not what defines me, at least not anymore. I won’t let it be the scorecard on what my worth is in this world.

What are you letting define who you are? Is it developing you into a better man, or is it crushing your soul just like it did for me many years ago? Stop being defined by what the world says you should be and go be who you were meant to be. You’ll be glad you did.

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