What Does It Mean To Be A Man? Part 1

“Be a man!” “You’re the man!” “Fight like a man!” What does it really mean to be a man? I’ve heard it said, and said it myself before, you may be male by birth, but you’re a man by choice. For too many years there has been this unspoken thing about what it means to become a man that the world has foisted upon us. When you have your first alcoholic drink, you’ll be a man, once you start shaving, you’ll be a man, when you bed your first woman, you’ll be a man. But honestly nothing could be further from the truth.

Being a man is a choice you make each and every day of your life, sometimes hour by hour. But before you can make that choice, you have to know what it really means to be a man, and what the job description entails. This is something which has been lost and not passed on to boys from their fathers in many, many years. For whatever reason, fathers have failed to teach their sons how to be men, and when movies and television came along, boys were shown what the world said it mean to be men so naturally because of the vacuum left by their fathers, they began to follow this instead.

Men were created first by God, and Adam, the first man was placed in the Garden of Eden and given a job; to cultivate it and name all the animals. It was while he was in the process of naming the animals he noticed every one of them had a counterpart, but for him there wasn’t one to be found. God put him to sleep, took a rib and made Adam a helper in the form of the woman Eve. When he woke up, he had a wife and a new job; to be a lover, leader and provider. He was to love his bride, lead her and provide for her. And this is what it really means to be a man. If you are going to be a real man, then you’re going to have to work these three things into your life as well. To not do them, is to not be a real man, plain and simple.

One of the most exasperating things I see, are guys who treat this role in their lives with disdain and selfishness. They live by the mantra of I’m going to get mine and the heck with the rest of you! Selfishness is the enemy of manhood. In the next few blogs I’m going to talk to you about what it really means to be a man, and I hope if you see yourself lacking in any way that you will make the corrections necessary.

It’s time men stood up and took their God given roles back, be the men the world needs and stop being like Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up but lived only for himself.

 

 

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Husbands, Are You Helping Your Bride To Soar?

It was a rainy Sunday morning outside, but the Son was shining brightly during the worship portion of our weekly church service.  Watching my son and his wife lead us in song, I thought back to when Holly was more timid and shy as she sang.  I remembered she said Micah was very encouraging and helpful to her in the pursuit of everything she did and how it had helped her grow in every area she pursued.  As I pondered this, a thought  came to me I’d like to share with you.

It is the husband’s responsibility to afford his wife the opportunities to develop her life and become the fullest representation of a woman in Christ she can be.  The man who refuses to do this for his bride is a selfish man who lacks the knowledge of what it means to be a true and authentic man of God.

~ David W Felts

After jotting this thought in my phone; I began thinking about my wife and what I’ve done over the years to encourage her in pursuing those things which make her heart come alive.  Have I done enough, or does she possibly feel stifled in who she is as a woman because of me? Have I been encouraging as a husband, or a needy little boy with his own agenda?

I believe men are supposed to be three things; a lover, leader and provider. I look to these three areas of my life often to see if I’m being the man my bride needs me to be. It’s not always easy; there are times I just want to run off and do what I want to do instead of the things I need to do in order to be the man I’m supposed to be. But I come back to what my responsibilities are and do what’s right.  I guess this is what separates the men from the boys.

Don’t get me wrong, I think men need to spend time their friends too; all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy after all. As men however, we should be putting the needs of our brides and family before anything else, including our own needs. I know this is not a popular thought in the world today, and the men who live to put the needs of their families before their own are often ostracized by the men who don’t do this.

My life is more fulfilled when I’m helping my bride become who she is supposed to be and spending less time on just what I want to do. I guess the old saying it is better to give than receive really rings true in this instance. If you’re one of those guys who says, “Sure I love you.  I married you didn’t I?” but insists on his own way first, perhaps you should take a closer look at your bride and see if she is a better person after having been with you than she was before she met you. If not Bubba it’s time for you to make a change.

Now you know what I think, what do you think?