Say What You Mean, Do What You Say

My oldest son and I were driving somewhere together one day when he was in his teenage years.  He was pestering me, just being a teenage boy when I said to him, “Micah you better stop it or I’m going to punch you in the face.”

He replied laughing, “Oh dad, come on, you know you’re not going to punch me in the face.” and he went back to pestering me.

About ten minutes passed when I reached over and lightly punched him in the jaw.  “Hey! You hit me! Why’d you do that for?”

“Because you said I’d never do that.”

Suffice it to say the pestering stopped. (At least for the remainder of the ride anyway.)

One of the worst things you can do as a man is to say one thing and then do another. While I don’t advocate punching your kids in the face, this one time I had to get a point across to my son, and be a man of my word.  Too often we tell people we’re going to do something and then it never happens.  Is it any wonder our world is such a mess?

What are we teaching our children when we do this?  We perpetuate this idea of saying one thing and doing another as the norm.  When my children were living under my roof, I really made an effort to do what I had told them I’d do.  If I said we were going to do something, I made every effort to make sure I could honor my word and do it.

My children did hear the phrase, “We’ll see.” in answer to most of their questions about doing something.  It got to the point where when I said that, they would roll their eyes and say, “That means we’re not going to do it then.

Think about it for a minute, if you tell your kids you’re going to do something then don’t, they learn it’s not important to do what they say from the most important person in their life.  In turn, they begin saying one thing and doing another; and the circle just keeps spinning and spinning; people never doing what they say.

Basically not keeping your word means you’re a liar.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  Every time you say you’re going to do something and don’t, you lied. Obviously being a liar isn’t as bad a thing in the eyes of the world like it used to be; after all we see it in politics all the time.  It’s almost as if lies have become the norm, and telling the truth is weird.

Be a man of your word regardless of how difficult it may be. If you tell someone you’re going to do something, then do it.  It’s up to us as men to make the changes in our own personal lives first and if enough of us do it, then we’ll begin to see change in our society and watch as things get back to the way they always should’ve been.

Now you know what I think, what do you think?

 

 

Truth and Honesty; You’re Not a Man Without Them

I’d like to start this out with a confession; I am not a perfect man and I have told more than my share of lies in my life.  I’m not proud of this fact; but to act as if I’d never done this and then write about it would make me the true definition of a hypocrite. Having admitted this however, I believe it gives me the right to discuss lies and honesty among men today.

Have you ever been lied to?  How’d it make you feel? Betrayed, cheated, maybe like you don’t matter at all to the person lying?  There is a whole range of emotions tied together with lying and being honest.

What gets me is when a man lies just to save himself a little bit of grief.  Let’s say for instance you make a mistake at work, you get called on it and instead of facing up to it and taking the responsibility for your actions; you pass the buck, or try to divert the attention away from you and onto someone else.

When you do this, how do you think it makes the person being thrown under the bus feel?  I can tell you from personal experience it makes me fighting mad.  I would have more respect for the man who fesses up and takes the responsibility over the jack wang who doesn’t.

Let me bottom line this for you; if you’re a man, don’t tell lies and always be honest.  It’s really a pretty simple way of life.  The bad thing about lying is you lose all credibility with the person you’ve lied to.  Trust can be regained, but it may take months or years.

Most of the times I’ve been lied to, it’s been because the person lying didn’t care about me as a person; therefore it was easy to lie to me. The problem with this is when I found out I was being lied to, it didn’t make me want to pursue any type of relationship with them either.

I think we should all adopt the “do unto others what you would have them do unto you” way of life.  Perhaps if we spent more time focusing on others and not just ourselves lying would cease to exist.  I can dream, right?

As I said at the beginning, I’m not perfect at this; I’ve told my share of whoppers in my 52 years, but this doesn’t mean I’ve given up.  I’m presented with opportunities to lie just like everyone is, the only difference is I’ve made the decision I wouldn’t lie anymore.

Since making this decision, it has been difficult at times.  Just because you decide to make a change in your life, don’t think everything will be perfect overnight.  It won’t, you’ll be tested until you pass the test. But let me tell you the rewards are amazing and worth all the effort.

Listen men, if you’re in the habit of lying to save yourself a little grief, why not change, and instead of telling lies, grow a set and act like a real man and stop the lies and be honest with everyone.

Now you know what I think, let me know what you think.