Their dinner finished and the kitchen cleaned, John and Suzy settled into their respective places in the living room; she on the couch reading her latest romance novel and he in his recliner on his phone surfing the web. This had become a typical night home for them, now in their second year of marriage.
Turning page after page only heightened her desire for John as the evening wore on. And after about an hour she laid the book down, got up and walked over to him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her moving towards him and quickly switched the screen of his phone over to Facebook from the pornographic images he was scrolling through.
“Honey, let’s go to the bedroom.” she purred tugging on his earlobe with her lips.
“Sounds good,” he said, “go on and get ready and I’ll be there in a minute.”
Running her fingers across his chest she rose and went to the bedroom. Quickly he opened the browser on his phone and started looking for a video which would give him an erection before heading to the bedroom.
Porn usages have risen in the world by extraordinary rates in the past few years, and with it so has erectile dysfunction. One thing which has not been discussed much until recently however is the connection between porn usage and ED. In watching a video about this subject I was surprised to hear that many young men now between the ages of 18 – 25 have little to no desire for sex. What?!? When I was this age, it was predominantly on my mind. Oh who am I kidding? It’s still predominantly on my mind today and I’m 52.
In his book “The Brain That Changes Itself”, MD Norman Doidge said,
“Today, young men who surf porn are tremendously fearful of impotence or “erectile dysfunction” as it is euphemistically called. The misleading term implies that these men have a problem with their penises, but the problem is in their heads. It rarely occurs to them that there may be a relationship between the pornography they are consuming and their impotence.”
An interesting finding is intense exposure to pornographic stimuli results in a down regulation of the natural neural response to sexual stimuli. Meaning quite simply, when you flood your mind with pornographic images seeing your wife’s naked body just doesn’t do it for you any more.
The question I must ask, is why do you feel the need to look at porn in the first place? Is there something missing in your relationship with your bride, or did you bring this into your marriage from bachelorhood? Whatever the reason, you need to eradicate porn from the equation of your relationship.
If you are suffering from ED, don’t go to the doctor for a pill; the problem is more than likely not in your pants, it’s in what you’re viewing, so stop your porn usage. The one thing I found in my study of this, is the men who are having trouble with ED when they stopped their porn intake, regained their normal sexual desire within a few months.
The good news is this is one area where willpower actually is the main ingredient in your success. If it helps however, find a good accountability software and put it on your phone and computer. Slay this giant before it slays you, and get back to enjoying sexual fulfillment with your bride, you’ll be glad you did and so will she.