What Does Waiting say About You?

I hate to wait! It doesn’t matter where I’m at either.  If I’m supposed to be doing something, then I want to be doing it, not standing around twiddling my thumbs.  

At work from time to time I’m forced to stand idly by while waiting on loads to be checked. One night several of my co-workers and I were at work until after 10pm mostly waiting for the loads to get ready to be loaded.  That was a fifteen hour day, and a lot of it was spent waiting.

It was aggravating to me to stand around waiting, because I could have been spending the time home with my bride, writing or just relaxing in my recliner.  Instead I was forced to be patient, stand around and wait.

Patience is a virtue; one I guess I really need to develop more in my life.  I can be patient sitting in a darkened movie theatre as I wait for the movie to start.  I can endure the days until Christmas or my birthday without grumbling.  But put me in a situation where someone or something is forcing me wait and I start to get antsy wanting to do anything else other than being patient.  And usually it isn’t too long until I start to complain about the situation.

Herein lies the rub, I don’t like to wait when it inconveniences me.  If it is something I want or desire to do, then waiting is no problem.  Force me to wait, and then I become a jerk.  Wow!  Now I’ve opened up something.  It all comes back around to me and how I perceive things.  Just once I wish I would find out it’s the other guy’s fault for what’s going on in my life.

How do you handle situations in your life where you are forced to wait?  I’d love to hear what you do when you have to be patient, and don’t really want to be.  

In the movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, there may be an answer to this.  Molly and Magorium have set a store full of clocks to chime all at once and they are waiting:

Mr. Magorium: 37 seconds.

Molly Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now we wait.

Mr. Magorium: No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

37 ,seconds well used, is a lifetime.” Waiting, when used properly can and will be an asset in our lives.  I guess the next time I’m forced to wait, I’ll heed the words of Mr. Magorium and use my time waiting to do things which will be beneficial to me, instead of complaining and ending up with my time spent with nothing to show for it.  What does waiting say about you?

Now you know what I think, what do you think?

Strip Clubs

What’s with this desire some men have to go to strip clubs?  They will spend hundreds of dollars on booze, lap dances and who knows what else, just to go home frustrated.  I can honestly say I have never stepped foot inside one of these establishments and never will.

When I was twenty-one I stayed in New Orleans with a friend from college.  We spent an entire day in the French Quarter drinking our way from one bar to the next.  As we walked past a strip club, my friend said, “Hey, let’s go in here!”  My reply was instead to suggest we go into the wax museum which was right next door.  We did neither and just found another watering hole.

Even when I was single, living for myself and doing whatever I wanted to do, I never had any desire to go watch a bunch of half naked women dance around a pole and put my hard earned money into their g-strings.  It’s not because I don’t like women, on the contrary; I think the greatest creation God ever made was the female form; it’s like an inspired work of art.  Strip clubs have always just seemed sleazy to me. I’m not saying the girls are sleazy, I can’t make this judgement as I don’t know their stories.

Nothing captivates my attention more than my bride’s body.  Believe me, if you were to ask her, she’d tell you I’m a little bit obsessed with it (even though this aggravates her most of the time).  It’s a God given desire placed in all men and is a great thing as long as it’s used correctly.

Electricity is a great thing. When you use it properly it will light and cool your home and is what is allowing me to write this.  But if you disregard the rules concerning electricity, it can kill you.  Fire is another thing which is good; you can use it to heat your home, cook your food and I love to sit alongside my fire pit on a cool evening with friends, but again there is the possibility of death if handled incorrectly.

The desire to see a woman’s naked bodies is much the same.  In the context of marriage it’s not a bad thing, but if mishandled leads to time lost, money spent, and ignoring your family.  If left unchecked, this desire will lead you eventually to sitting on pervert row in a strip club leering at dancing women who may have their own issues.

I’m not a prude, but I do know this, strip clubs are not the answer to this desire inside of men.  What will cultivate this area in you is to love one woman and build a life together.  Spend time connecting with your bride, and you will find the results will be much healthier, not to mention, you won’t go home at night frustrated and all your money gone.

Now you know what I think, what do you think?

 

 

 

 

 

Hi, My Name Is ED And I’m Addicted To Porn

Their dinner finished and the kitchen cleaned, John and Suzy settled into their respective places in the living room; she on the couch reading her latest romance novel and he in his recliner on his phone surfing the web.  This had become a typical night home for them, now in their second year of marriage.

Turning page after page only heightened her desire for John as the evening wore on.  And after about an hour she laid the book down, got up and walked over to him.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw her moving towards him and quickly switched the screen of his phone over to Facebook from the pornographic images he was scrolling through.

“Honey, let’s go to the bedroom.” she purred tugging on his earlobe with her lips.

“Sounds good,” he said, “go on and get ready and I’ll be there in a minute.”

Running her fingers across his chest she rose and went to the bedroom.  Quickly he opened the browser on his phone and started looking for a video which would give him an erection before heading to the bedroom.

Porn usages have risen in the world by extraordinary rates in the past few years, and with it so has erectile dysfunction. One thing which has not been discussed much until recently however is the connection between porn usage and ED.  In watching a video about this subject I was surprised to hear that many young men now between the ages of 18 – 25 have little to no desire for sex.  What?!?  When I was this age, it was predominantly on my mind.  Oh who am I kidding?  It’s still predominantly on my mind today and I’m 52.

In his book “The Brain That Changes Itself”, MD Norman Doidge said,

“Today, young men who surf porn are tremendously fearful of impotence or “erectile dysfunction” as it is euphemistically called.  The misleading term implies that these men have a problem with their penises, but the problem is in their heads.  It rarely occurs to them that there may be a relationship between the pornography they are consuming and their impotence.”

An interesting finding is intense exposure to pornographic stimuli results in a down regulation of the natural neural response to sexual stimuli.  Meaning quite simply, when you flood your mind with pornographic images seeing your wife’s naked body just doesn’t do it for you any more.

The question I must ask, is why do you feel the need to look at porn in the first place? Is there something missing in your relationship with your bride, or did you bring this into your marriage from bachelorhood? Whatever the reason, you need to eradicate porn from the equation of your relationship.

If you are suffering from ED, don’t go to the doctor for a pill; the problem is more than likely not in your pants, it’s in what you’re viewing, so stop your porn usage. The one thing I found in my study of this, is the men who are having trouble with ED when they stopped their porn intake, regained their normal sexual desire within a few months.

The good news is this is one area where willpower actually is the main ingredient in your success. If it helps however, find a good accountability software and put it on your phone and computer.  Slay this giant before it slays you, and get back to enjoying sexual fulfillment with your bride, you’ll be glad you did and so will she.

 

 

 

Embarrassment; the Bane of Every Man’s Existence

The day way extremely hot and muggy, and I couldn’t have been any wetter if I’d jumped into a swimming pool fully clothed.  It was getting close to noon when word came down we were going to work through lunch.  I’m usually a pretty easy-going guy, but on this particular day it challenged me greatly to have to do this, and I didn’t handle things the way I should have.

Have you ever watched a fire grow in intensity, getting larger and hotter by the minute?  This is what I began to experience in my mind. Letting my irritation get the best of me, I let the expletives fly in front of some of the men I work with.

The day didn’t get any better, I missed out on lunch completely, stayed both hot and wet, finally ending up home and in bed by 8:30pm.  I just wanted the day to be over. Texting my bride goodnight, she came into the room to see what was wrong with me and I told her I didn’t want to talk about it.

You see, I was totally embarrassed by my outburst in front of those men, and the last thing I wanted to do was explain myself to her.  And not because I didn’t want to share my life with her; it was because I felt like a fool.

One thing I’ve learned in life is men do not like to be embarrassed or look foolish.  A guy will take a kick to the crotch over being the laughing-stock every time. It’s all about honor; without it, we’re nothing.

Men can take just about anything from another man, but to lose face in front of his wife is unbearable, at least it is for me.  There is nothing else which will make me feel more like a failure. This is why I didn’t want to talk to my bride about what had happened at work, because I already felt like a fool, failure and complete waste of space.  And having to explain what I’d done wasn’t going to help.  For me, bringing the day to a close was the thing I needed.

You might be saying, “But Dave, it’s not a big deal to lose your temper and cuss in front of the guys, everybody does that from time to time.” And while I would agree it isn’t a big deal for a lot of men, it is for me. The reason is because I’ve made a decision to live my life as a follower of Christ, and this is not the way Jesus would want me to act. I’m not a super Christian or anything; I’m flawed and realize it daily, but I do try to live my life pleasing to God. This day I didn’t do that, and it really bothered me.

I think I know how Peter felt after he denied knowing Jesus the night they arrested him. Scripture says Peter was pointed out by several people as being one of Jesus’s followers (twice by girls) and this big fisherman cussed a blue streak, saying he didn’t know the man.

Earlier that night, Jesus had told Peter he would deny knowing him three times before the rooster crowed, but Peter had declared, “Never! I will go with you all the way, even to the death!” As he heard the rooster crow and realized Jesus had been correct, Scripture says he ran into the night and wept bitterly.

Like Peter, I too felt remorse for what I had done.  The feeling of failure hung over me like a dark cloud for the entire day.  But I’m happy to announce the next day was much better.  I apologized to the men I flipped out in front of, and moved on with my life, working more diligently for this to never happen again. Will it?  Who knows?  Probably.  I am a man after all, and men make mistakes.

I do know this however, the next time someone flips out in front of me for whatever reason, I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt before making any hasty judgements about them that’s for sure.

Well, now you know what I think.  What do you think?

Let It Go Indiana!

Grasping his son’s wrist with both hands, it was everything Henry could do to maintain his hold. He was acutely aware of the danger with each passing moment as his grip loosened.  Reaching out with the arm not being held by his father, the professor stretched to recover the prize they had spent weeks searching for.

Disregarding the danger, his mind focused on the cup and only the cup, it took his father’s words to bring him back to reality.  “Let it go, Indiana.”  Snapping out of it, he turned and with his loose hand grabbed a hold of his father’s arms and began the process of saving his life.  This is one of my favorite scenes in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”, and I’ve quoted this movie line to myself and others more times than I can remember.

Just a few days ago, while I was working, a situation came up with my boss which set me off.  I was doing my job, and had a plan in action when he came and changed it up.  While I don’t mind micromanaging sometimes, yesterday I felt it was a dumb decision and as I worked through it I had to tell myself, “Let it go Indiana.”  I even went as far as to write this little phrase on the windshield of the Polaris I drive at work so it would be a constant reminder to me throughout the day.

There are times when things just aren’t worth the fight; at work and also in life.  When situations like this show up, what do you do, how do you handle them?  I’ve seen men who will not let it go if they feel they’re right; they will fight for it regardless of what it might do to them in the future.  Being right is more important to them than anything else, and it blinds them to what is going on.

Fighting for what you believe in is a noble thing, and there are times when you should stand your ground, but when you take a stand for every little thing it begins to look less like fighting for what you believe in and more like rage.  And rage is just uncontrolled anger, which especially in the work environment will cause you more grief and way less return on your investment.

There is nothing wrong with taking the high ground in situations like these; which is what I did the other day.  I did have a good venting session with one of my friends, working to get it off of my chest, but even though my way was a better use of resources and time, it was definitely not the hill for me to die on.

When you find yourself in one of these situations, tell yourself, “Let it go Indiana.” and do just that, let it go.  Don’t expend energy going over it again and again in your mind.  It will go a long way to helping you at work and with your relationships.  After all, no one likes the person who always has to be right and fights every battle placed in their way as if their very lives depended on it.  To quote Shakespeare from his play Henry the Fourth;

The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.

There will be times in your life where using discretion at work or in your relationships will benefit you more than choosing to fight the battle and ending up losing your job or a friendship.  Don’t let your attitude blind you to what could end up being your destruction.

Now you know what I think, what do you think?