It’s dark and I feel utterly alone. For months now, I’ve been here navigating through the abyss of this playground others have described as a virtual wonderland; full of mystery, promise and acknowledgment. Yet for me this place is feeling almost like a self-imposed purgatory, giving me cause to doubt if I’m making any difference at all.
From different directions I hear the voices of notoriety, monetary gain and popularity call to me from the darkness, but as I chase each of them they seem to elude me even more. I prostitute myself with words; opening myself to reveal the deep places of my heart, in the hopes of helping others, but it feels as if no one is listening. It seems to be an exercise in futility, what’s the point?
If I were to be honest with myself, I would say I’m expecting too much to soon. After all, the people I see who are making it in this realm, have been at it for many, many years and I’ve just been here a few months. Though I feel like a failure, I know I’m just being hard on myself. Those of us who are “creatives” generally are, we just can’t help it.
I’m afraid what today’s writing is doing for me is revealing yet another facet of my heart which needs development. It is infuriating to realize I have this need to be liked, to hope I’ve said something witty, poignant or enlightened which has caused another person to become better and to be acknowledged for this. Crap, I’m no better than the kid who buys all the right clothes, gets the popular haircut and latest electronic accessories only to find out he’s a day behind everyone else.
How do I get beyond this? What steps can I take to stop running through the dark and take the time it will take to reach the things I’m seeking here? I think a poem a mentor of mine once wrote might help. It goes like this;
Plod on, plod on, plod on. Plod on, plod on, plod on.
Plod on, plod on, plod on. Plod on, plod on, plod on.
Just keep moving forward daily, taking the necessary steps needed to move a little bit closer to your desired dreams and goals. Slow and steady wins the race we learned from Aesop’s fable; “The Tortoise and the Hare”. I wonder if he ever felt like a failure? He’s been dead for over 2, 000 years, yet his words are still read and used to live by. Perhaps there is hope for my words too.
Having said all of this, do a brother a solid and like and share my stuff.😜.
Well now you know what I think, what do you think?
All In A Knight's Work 