Just the Facts, Mam

Before my wife and I were married, I lived with my parents in order to save a little money in preparation for my new life as a married man. I’m not a world traveler, the most interesting man in the world, or even a very knowledgeable man at times, so let me teach you a lesson I learned the hard way.

Getting ready for church one morning, I spied a bottle labeled “musk” on the bathroom counter. I very rarely wear cologne and thought it would be a treat for my soon to be bride, Cheryl if I put on some smell good. It’s at this point in my story I should make you aware of my lack of any real knowledge of perfumery; which is the science of making perfumes and colognes. I finished dressing, sprayed a healthy dose of musk all around my body and headed off to meet my fiancé for the worship service.

As I entered the building, I looked for Cheryl.  Spotting her, I excitedly walked to where she was standing talking with some friends.  As the service started and we began singing, she leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Did you hug your mother before you came to church?”  To which I answered, “No.”  She replied, “Huh, you smell just like your mom.”

As the next song began, I started to wonder if musk was a type of women’s perfume also.  I had worn musk before and assumed it was cologne; it never occurred to me to think it could be perfume.

As the morning continued, Cheryl kept mentioning how  much I smelled like my mom. Even though it embarrassed me I finally fessed up and told her what I had done. This little event in my life caused me to pretty much stay away from anything except soap and water for many years.  I use a little bit of beard balm from time to time and I feel pretty safe about how I smell now.

It’s really good to know your facts before doing things; which is a lesson I learned the hard way.  I think Detective Joe Friday from the television show “Dragnet” said it best when he said, “Just the facts, mam.”

 

 

 

 

 

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