Shh, Don’t Say Anything

“I’m not saying anything, I’m putting it in the vault, I’m locking the vault. It’s a vault!”  Jerry to Kramer in “The Parking Garage”

The television show “Seinfeld” was popular for producing catch phrases which became a part of life and pop culture.  In several episodes the fab four talked about keeping secrets.  One of the main reasons I think “Seinfeld” is funny and such a huge success, is because it is relatable to our own life experiences.

How many times have you been pulled into someone’s confidence about a situation and been asked to keep it to yourself?  On one hand it is nice to know the person trusts you enough to let you in on their little secret, but the flip side of this is sometimes it can be a burden to have this knowledge.  Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss.

I have kept many secrets for friends in my lifetime and have lived by this simple rule; men can tell me anything, and I’ll keep their secret, unless it involves spousal, or child abuse.  If I am ever told about this, my recommendation will be they turn themselves in to the police.  If they were to refuse, then I would be honor bound to make the call myself.

I think one of the hardest secrets any of us can ever keep are the ones where we know some truth about how a person has acted, which no one else does.  It is especially difficult if this person is a leader in the community, at work or older than you.  Having been in this position before I can honestly say this burden may be one of the heaviest I’ve ever carried.

It’s even more difficult if the person is saying nasty things about you in the process.  I knew of a situation where a young man was being vilified by an older man who was respected through out the community.  What he was saying about the younger man wasn’t true, and whenever there were people around he was pleasant and you would have never known anything was wrong.  But when the two of them were together, with no one else around, he was horrible acting to the younger man.

It takes a brave man to take the high road and do the right thing; actually it makes him the better man.  I know for a fact it would have been much easier for him to have railed about the older man to the people around him, but doing this would have made him look like a petulant little schoolboy instead of a man.

I subscribe to the school of thought which says, what goes around comes around.  If someone is treating you poorly, allow them to do whatever they think is best; without retaliation, because eventually it will come back to haunt them.  They may be throwing you under the bus now, but if you will be patient, the truth will eventually come out and you will be vindicated.

Keeping secrets, and having knowledge about others can be difficult to bear, but  as men there are going to be times we have to, as the Nike slogan says, “Just Do It!” The really amazing thing is, you can do it because you have what it takes inside you to do this! The decision is yours.

Now you know what i think; what do you think?


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