I enjoy coffee and good conversation with friends, movies, books, musicals and above all, being a creative person. It’s what drives me and has since I was a very young boy.
Growing up in the Felts household meant instead of watching sports on the weekend, we watched old movies on the television with my mom. As an adult I used to find myself reminiscing on Saturday nights while watching old movies on the PBS channel with my bride.
Because of this I have often felt like the odd man out when I’m in a group of men. For instance, I don’t understand talking about last night’s game; to me it seems like the guy doing the talking is living his life through the player’s accomplishments. I’m sure this isn’t the case, but it seems that way. It makes me think they do this because they haven’t actually accomplished anything on their own, so talking about what the player has done brings a sense of identity to them.
Whatever the case, I seem to be a man out of time. The funny thing is I don’t often mind it. Of course there are those times when I’ve been excluded from an event because it was something I’m not really into. It’s these times I wish I were more like other guys. When this happens, I have to remind myself just because I’m not a huge sports fan doesn’t mean I’m not a man.
Of course it doesn’t make the sports fan any less of a man either. But what is it that makes us men? Is it the testicles, facial hair or the ability to actually think about nothing? Those are certainly parts of it, but I think there’s really more to it than this.
What I think makes me a man is the decisions I make each and every day. For instance, I decide each day to love my bride by giving up my life to make hers better. I also decide to get to work on time and put in a full day’s work to provide for my family. It’s these decisions and many others like them which make me a man.
Your father’s sperm may have decided you’d be male, but actually becoming a man is a choice. The good news is each and every one of us guys gets to decide whether or not we are going to be men, but it’s not automatic, you will have to work at it.
Hopefully you had a good role model who taught you how to become a man, but if not have no fear, there is help for you out there. I’d recommend the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge to start.
Also, feel free to contact me via email, I’d be happy to start a conversation with you about what it takes to become a real man. And what the world needs is more real and authentic men. You’ve got what it takes, now go out and be the man you’re supposed to be.